What am I supposed to do?

wow...I'm so sorry to hear that. and there is a reason to keep living! I don't know if this is how you're thinking, and sorry if I have this the wrong way, but suicide is NOT the answer. I almost took my own life twice, and then I realized that there is always darkness before dawn. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You need to sit your parents down and tell them what you want. You are your own person and they cannot control you. You deserve to do what you want, especially since you've been working your off, non-stop for a very long time. If they freak out, try to stay calm and show them that they can't get to you. Don't give in. Stay strong, hold your ground...yes, they want what's best for you, but verbally abusing you is wrong. Show them you're not scared and you'll do anything to get what you want and be independent. Don't take no for an answer; and maybe you can come to an agreement with your parents, or make a deal. I hope this helps, even a little bit. Good luck. I know you'll make it, girl.